Missing piece

There are few things more humbling in life than being unemployed. I am fortunate enough to have a boyfriend who has been with me through thick and thin. Through two jobs and no job. We have been able to rely on one another without breeding any resentment. My dad keeps telling me to just enjoy this "time off" and do some things I wouldn't be able to do if I was working. As lovely as that all sounds I can't just turn off. I look at time off as vacation, as a reward for hard work not as an alternative to working. I have an odd need to work. I can feel myself tensing up more by the day. I've had a few interviews, one offer and plenty of rejections. It's only a matter of time before I freak out and take some bullshit part time gig selling yogurt or the ole standby slinging cocktails. I cannot just sit back and rely on Billy to pay the bills. Maybe this is the push I needed to finally make a decision about Jones. Part of me thinks I keep using it as a backup or a safety net, but maybe I keep going back to it because its really something I want to do. I guess the worst case scenario is that I go for it and if I fail, so be it. I could always just go back to doing what I've been doing... Drifting... Until then I better find a way to be an excellent housewife, show my hardworking boyfriend some serious appreciation for bring home the bacon and learn to iron.